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 For ages now, men have made women feel
self-conscious, nay worthless, making them obsess
over the size of their, er ... various body parts.
Whatever the dimensions of a body part, they weren't
right today, and—we men artfully made sure—
never would be. Women acquired the fine art and the
wisdom of dolling themselves up—even getting
nips, tucks, and implants—to be able to please
our blessed eyes. We stoked their deepest fears and
anxieties. With one sharp, well-timed glance or comment, we
turned them into a whimpering heap of self-hatred
and turmoil. Ah, how wonderful, how pleasurable,
this sublime sense of control. Surely this is what
Nietzsche had meant by man's will to power.
But, if history is any guide,
golden ages do not last. Women may
have just found the Achilles heel
of men, one that hangs between their legs. Unless you live in a
cave (or without email,
increasingly congruent), you
receive spam emails about penis
enlargement—pills, pumps,
patches, etc. Size does matter,
they reveal, with stats on women's
preferences and smiling women
proclaiming, well, large member
benefits. The emails promise all
sorts of gains—sex appeal,
heightened libido, even saving
marriages—all as easy as 1-2-3!
"She will love you more than any
other guy," they claim. Related
pills promise to boost the man's
fluid volume, to help him "shoot
like a porn star" (move over gun
slingers of the Old West) and to
drown her with, umm ... his fluid
(of course she likes that
feeling). For the New Age man
there are organic, pesticide-free
herbal alternatives, with a
green label to boot. (That's
harmony with nature; Marcus
Aurelius would surely have
approved.)
Men are definitely buying this stuff, else why would there be so much
selling? A lot of women are pleased with this development. Some are
quietly rejoicing with this expose of men's insecurities—a more
level playing field at last! Just as women buy fashion magazines that
feature unreal women, men consume porn that features unreal men. "This
restoring of chi, or balance", said a women interviewed by
Shunya's Notes, "gives me a deep sense of catharsis." Another
woman, trying hard to conceal her elation, confided, "I secretly saw
my husband browsing a website that sells those pills. Tears welled up
in my eyes. I felt this moment of spiritual connection with
his insecurity."
Ironically, men's hopes now lie in this "connection", else it may
well lead to a cold war between the sexes and an accompanying arms
race. |
